The Beast Within

Ever since I can remember, injections have scared me.
Really scared me.
Even the mention puts me on edge.
I can't concentrate - can't keep still.
It's not something I can control.
I'm not proud of it.
When I tell people they don't take me seriously.
They scoff.
They say I should relax.
That it doesn't really hurt.
But I wouldn't care if it was the most beautiful feeling in the world.
The gut-wrenching terror would be the same.
It's irrational.
That's why it's called a phobia.
Illogical by definition - only I understand why.
I don't expect any different.
The funny thing is I scare myself.
When confronted with my fear I turn into some primeval version of myself.
Fight or flight.
I don't know what I could do.
I don't feel like myself.
But the scariest thing is that it is me.
It's the beast within.
We all have one - it just takes different things to bring it out.

RB